Dear Future Child,
There’s so much I want to tell you, so much I want you to know.
I want you to know that you will be amazing. This isn’t conditional based on your accomplishments or achievements, it’s woven into the very fabric of you. I don’t know which parts you’ll adopt, which traits will appear. There’s a chance you’re like your mom: a fierce badass who doesn’t quite know she’s a fierce badass. If that’s the case, I want you to know that you will be an unstoppable force for good in the world, a gentle but bold light that warms people and that isn’t sure if she’s up for some fights. Listen: you are up for them. You won’t win all of them, but (with thanks to Colony House) dreams that bear the mark of love are dreams that never die. Don’t stop. Don’t give up. As long as you’re fighting for Love, fighting for people, you’re fighting the good fight.
There’s also a good chance you’re a lot like me. If I’m really honest, this scares the shit out of me. Not just because you’ll get in plenty of trouble (despite your mom’s best rule-following genes). But the parts of you that are like me are parts that won’t quite be sure how to navigate the world, may have such a hard time feeling comfortable in your skin. This part of you, it’s more likely to write a song but it’s also more likely to need to, just to express the emotions that come with your higher likelihood of depression. This part of you is the part that’s up at 4am writing a blog post on your phone because you just have to get it out. If I’m honest, my biggest fear is this part of you, because I’m terrified that you’ll need to fight the urge to give up on life at some point.
Before you ever get there, please do something different. Learn about the hard parts of yourself. Press into the painful moments, lean into the headwind and figure out what it takes for you to be healthy. Not what it takes for anyone else to be healthy, what it takes for you. Do the hard things. If you're uncomfortable, there's a good chance you're growing. Learn how to give & receive love, how to ask for help, how to be a sustainable fire. I will be here to help, I swear that to you. I will be here to listen and to help you understand and to sit in the hard parts with you. I will fight to shift the world you’re in, to make it closer to what it should be. I will love you and annoy you and teach you too many song lyrics so there’s no room in your brain for other things. And I will try to help sort out the parts of you, somewhere in between your mom & me, the beautiful mess of humanity with the image of God underneath.
See you in April.