One of the most common themes with people I talk to is the idea that they’re not “good enough.”

Good enough in general. Good enough as a mom, as a son, as a husband, as an employee. Good enough in their career, in their relationships, or just as a human being.

This always leads me to ask the same question: What would be good enough? Not vague answers like ‘spend more time with my kids’ or ‘be further along in my career,’ but specifically.

How would you know you were good enough? What would that look like? What are the exact criteria you’re evaluating yourself against?

In all the times I’ve asked this, even if they’ve had a week to think about it, no one’s ever been able to give me specific criteria.

If you think you’re not ‘good enough,’ I’d love to challenge you to consider what you’re evaluating that against. If it’s some vague sense of ‘better’ that doesn’t have actual criteria, is it possible that you’re not being fair to yourself? If you’re comparing yourself to a non-existent set of requirements, how can you succeed?

Maybe there is no ‘good enough.’ Maybe we can be driven to keep improving while also being proud of where we are and celebrating how far we’ve come so far. Maybe, if you made a list of the things you want to be true about you as a person (not accomplishments, but as a person), you’d find that many of them are already true. Maybe who we are and who we’re becoming is more important than what we’ve accomplished.